Nintendo Player – An Unofficial, Non-Profit Fan Site

Watch young Thomas fly
Oh no, look out for that knife!
That must have sux0red

Sylvia cries out
Oh Please save me soon, Thomas!
My pixel-based hero!

When in level 1
Watch out for the scary boss
He hit hard with stick!

Level 2 scares me
Flying pots hit me on head
I DIE OF SNAKE BITE!

“Hey, angry black man!
Are you Shaft?” I say for fun
“PITY THE FOOL!” he yell

Level 4 is whack
Even wiggedy whack, so
use game genie ok?

I see magician
His head fall off like apple!
Ha ha ha, I larf!

Level 5 comes near
Oh, he a tough customer!
Mister X block kicks!

However, even
Mister X is of no match
FOR SUPER GROIN PUNCH!

I finish the game
“What a ripoff!” i proclaim
Only five levels!

I bring game to clerk
“Sorry, no refunds”, he say
Oh, now you say that!

I kick clerk in balls
He writhe on floor in great pain
Isn’t Kung Fu great?