INTRODUCTION

Is there any place on earth that combines the future, the past, and the fantasy quite like Walt Disney resorts? Friendly faces, world-class dining options, and magical atmosphere absorb all of five senses and leaves even the most cynical with a big goofy grin. Walt Disney may be gone, but his dream of giving a place for both kids and adults to enjoy together still remains strong.

TRAVEL TIME

I saw plenty of crazy things on the way down and back to Florida. Going roughly 65-70 M.P.H. the entire ride, it took me two days to arrive to Orlando from Philly by driving approximately nine hours a day. That might sound like a lot, but cruise control is a huge help. Cruise control is truly a gift from God, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, and Toyota.

During our travels we ran over broken tire pieces, been given the finger, seen cars go off the road and also some stuck in mud, and I have listened to non-often heard words coming from my mother's mouth; ethnic slurs, 'fuck you', 'stupid son of a bitch asshole' (in that order), et cetera. For Chrissake, it shouldn't be a normal sight to see your mom flip off people either.

These are shreds of tires. They were everywhere on the road. Hitting one may cause an accident. We almost proved that theory.

This is somewhere in the Carolinas as we exited off of I-95 to find a place to eat. We eventually got lost in the middle of an ultra-conservative Catholic southern community where everyone was white and happy to love God. Needless to say, we high-tailed out of there real fast.

Back on the interstate, I quickly found out about the various forms of local entertainment.

And when strip bars or pornography grew dull, the local folk seemed to have a deep appreciation for the art of lighting fireworks.

I'm sure Core Carriers would be excited about this driver. I should have called the number found below the How am I driving? bumper sticker.

RESORTS, FOOD, AND FUN

Our first stop was at the Marriott near Fort Bragg, North Carolina. This particular town was literally crammed into one block. On one side alone there were four or five hotels, gas stations, and restaurants. In the center of it all was a graveyard. Talk about convenience. I can rent a room, buy a Whopper, and then purchase a gravestone almost all at once.

We enjoyed the splendid scenic view that our room's window provided.

The ice buckets were too small so I took the initiative to putting my mind at work. ...Later I found out there was only one sink and we ended up having to wash our hands and brush our teeth in the shower. I learned my lesson never to think again.

As I said before, it took us only two days to get down to Florida. Too early for our reserved hotel. We had to make last-minute reservations at the only resort in the Epcot area of Disney World. Enter Coronado Springs.

Coronado Springs is listed as one of Disney's less expensive resorts, but no one would never be able to make that assumption by looking around the place. The only bad part, and one of every vacation's greatest things, was that the room service was very limited. They stopped taking orders before ten at night and you can only able choose from small pizzas, hamburgers, and chicken fingers.

As a side note for those who never ate at WDW before: All food within the area is very expensive but very, very good.

After two days staying at Coronado, we moved our stuff to the main resort, Disney's Yacht and Beach Club.

Brace yourselves......... MORE FOOD. The Yacht club has unlimited 24-hour room service, an in-room mini-bar, and also an in-room snack basket (both of which get refilled by maids every day). What's that you say? Pictures you want to see? Pictures you get, then!

Before and after.

You should take note that only two people are ordering all of this room service.

This is what happens when you are in Disney World. Your mind's perception somehow forgets what dollar signs mean. I blame it on the delightful Mickey straws!

Now that you have a taste of some of the more memorable moments of my trip, and of Disney in general to let you understand what makes the resort so special, let's go straight to the parks!

WDW currently has a total four: Magic Kingdom, Epcot, MGM Studios, and Animal Kingdom. Although Capcom's Adventures in the Magic Kingdom is based on Disneyland in California, the parks are almost identical, save for a few minor changes. The rest of this feature will focus on tips and in depth info about the attractions in the game.