Today I come bearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters Super Nintendo sample, the latest conquest in my psychopathic mission to gain Turtle Power. This marks the seventh Ninja Turtles pre-release video game that I’ve featured here on the site.

Don’t get too excited because this one turned out to be a dud. But as they say, the journey is more important than the destination, and on this journey, I gave up my healthy diet regiment in order to raid Ninja Turtles co-creator Kevin Eastman’s private stash for some of his mutagenic ooze.